Day 181 - Friday Night Light

me tree

I think I've spotted a bit of a Friday night trend...my blog posts are a little, shall we say, light...

Not in tone, but in content and quality.  By Friday evening, I'm often tired, especially mentally...my brain can feel so woolly and vacant I find it hard to put a coherent sentence on the digital page.   More often than not, I've had to go food shopping after work, or maybe mowed the lawns...or maybe both...and walked the dog and looked for a photo, of course...

As in the case of this evening, when I've done all of the above, I've sometimes just run out of steam.

It's just as well that very few read Friday nights blog post!

Earlier, whilst mowing the lawns, I realised that I'm in something of a blue funk tonight.   A fog of melancholy seems to be following me round like a little black cloud...I seem to be surrounded by reminders of the fragility of life.

...someone I used to know, my age, died suddenly earlier this week...

...in the six months since my boy Bluez left us, his brother Jazz has aged markedly, and seems increasingly frail...he's had a difficult day today...

...a colleague is anxiously watching over a poorly spouse in Myton Hospice...my thoughts are with her...

...we are a few short weeks away from the tenth anniversary of the time when I stepped out of the world for a while (also at Myton), to walk with my sister Debs to the very edge of this life, to try to see her safely on her way to the next...it was a tragic, profound, wonderful experience, that suddenly seems closer than it has for years...


I've been meaning to get a photo of this tree for a while now, and tonight seemed like the night...

For some reason it reminds me of me...perhaps it's that it's tall and gangly, a bit ragged around the edges, and looks as though it's seen a few things in its time, and is sometimes weary as a result...

The evening was grey and overcast, so the light was poor, but it seemed to suit my mood.

Turning around, I was struck by the rays of pale sunlight filtering through the grey, troubled sky...it felt like a metaphor for something, although I'm not quite sure what...and I'm not trying too hard to work it out, as I'm wary of allowing my sombre vibes to twist more gloom into a brightening scene.

It seems far more likely to mean something spiritual and uplifting, so I will try to get back to it when I'm less tired, and a little less emotionally raw...

Actually no, I'm going to deal with it now...it's just hit me - it's the bright, warm light of the next world, tearing through the veil of this world, to welcome those that we call the departed, but they'll call new arrivals...

It's where I last saw Debs...

:'(